there is shock and awe
in me
when
you tell me
'i think i want to fool around with her'

shock
and awe -
'i think this would be good for you'
'really?'
'hmm-mm'
because in this moment, considered long
i have no fears -
  you will leave me
  neglect me
  she is more beautiful
  better in bed - smoother, more nimble, and
  you will love her
  more -
no,
jealousy
leaves me alone

rather...
thrill

because
i know
of necessity you must go first
eke out this terrain
pull back the brushes and
see
there are no monsters here

because next
it will be my turn
to calmly follow after you

(and it was just last night I dreamt of sleeping with him
at a party
on a proposition
on a dare
and the thrill left my sleeping wet)

r.

April 17, 2005, 9:40 pm

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